Lyndsey Garbi, MD, is a pediatrician who is double board-certified in pediatrics and neonatology. I should add that we DID let family hold our LO in the hospital (after much hand washing! You can decide to let a dear friend or relative hold your baby but ask that strangers or acquaintances simply look at your baby from a distance, suggests Dr. Hasson. policy. There should be no kissing on the face or hands, says Dr. Karp. Decide on a small circle of people that you feel comfortable touching or being near your newborn, suggests Dr. Ahmed. Little things like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place. Note that there are a lot of asymptomatic cases of certain illnesses, like COVID-19, so even if someone doesn't show signs of illness, they still could be sick with the virus, warns Dr. Ahmed. Dec 13, 2016 at 3:17 PM. Most grandparents will be dying to help with the baby, but again, defer to the parents' wishes. Aarohi Achwal holds a bachelors degree in Commerce and a masters degree in English Literature. What the mother and child need is peace. Grandparents who do not agree with the decisions made by the new parents should remember that one of the main jobs of grandparents is respecting boundaries. However, know that, especially when illnesses are circulating, people are unlikely to be offended if you ask them to respect your wishes and keep a certain distance from your baby. I missed my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a few feet away from me. It's just common sense. Ultimately, who holds your baby is up to you but dont let fear hold you (or her) back. Everyone has been chomping at the bit to see your baby. Try rocking or holding your newborn against you, skin on skin. Young children, especially older siblings and cousins will be excited by the arrival of a new baby and may insist on holding your newborn. Thanks! Lay your baby, stomach down, across your forearm with the head up toward your elbow. As much as I genuinely appreciated our families, I also felt drained. Your email address will not be published. The most important step when carrying or holding your newborn is to support your baby's head and neck at all times. Design: Ashley Britton/SheKnows. Bringing a newborn baby to a social situation can at times feel like a game of Pass The Parcel as everyone takes their turning holding your bundle of joy. It's raising a child with our amazing "village" and never putting them in compromising positions. who are all remarried), grandparents, siblings, etc. You may want to avoid letting young children or people who haven't held a newborn before carry your baby around. All rights reserved. RSV Cases Surge Across the U.S., What To Know and How To Protect Your Kids, How to Prepare for Your First Day Home With Your New Baby, The Best Infant Car Seats for Your Precious Cargo, The 11 Best Baby Wraps and Slings of 2023, A Complete Guide To Your Baby's Five Senses, The 7 Best Pacifiers for Newborns of 2023. Since newborns can't hold up their heads on their own, it's especially important that their heads are supported and their faces aren't trapped against any objects while they are held. Yes, youre being a bit unreasonable. We actually had a scare on his second day that put him in the NICU with a possible infection and he already had a spinal tap because of it. Anyone else's baby a climber. I could not wait to introduce my tiny little human to everyone in my life. I love our little family so much. Anyone who plans to visit a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander. Well, maybe not for the new mum or dad. All of my excitement about showing my daughter off was slowly fading. Please be kind. by Susana Kuehne. Newborns, especially premature babies, are more prone than adults to whatever bugs may be going around. Smokers should not hold the baby for at least half an hour after smoking. That's a lot of spinal tap (to rule out meningitis I think) - not something that I want Get weekly updates on baby and your body. Grandparents who respect new parents' decisions are likely to see their access to grandchildren expanded, while those who do not may find that access continues to be limited. Parenting.Firstcry.com accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations. Keeping your baby safe is your job. There are many new sling carriers for newborns that keep them close to you and make it nearly impossible, and also downright rude, for others to try sticking their hands into to touch your baby. Everyone washes their hands. Users are reminded that they are fully responsible for their own At a minimum, let the new parents make decisions about the length and timing of your visit. Additionally, there is the worry that germs that produce colds, flu, COVID-19 or other illnesses or diseases could be spread to your fragile new baby. It's something that they are doing for the newborn and for themselves. I've also told people I don't want anybody kissing him. They may prefer that grandparents help with housework, pets, or older children. Susan Adcox is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories From My Grandparent: An Heirloom Journal for Your Grandchild. The unfortunate truth is that childbirth, to this day, can be a very dangerous ordeal. Keep your baby at least 6 feet away from people not in your household. This week, one first-time mum asks if refusing to engage in Pass The Baby is acceptable or just plain rude. Physical distancing is one of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19. Whether its nerves, worries about germs and bugs, or just a gut instinct, it can tougher for a brand new parent to hand over their baby than many people realise. Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and don't mind. But I felt a strange sense of obligation; I started setting dates with everyone for when they could visit. As your baby grows, they'll gradually start to need fewer night feeds and will sleep for longer at night. Except for the hepatitis B vaccine, these are administered at the two-month-old well visit and include the Hib, Prevnar, DtaP, IPV, hepatitis B, and rotavirus vaccines. This time frame might not work for some families, particularly if you have parents who are helping to take care of the baby. Along with continuing concern about exposure to germs, these factors may also enter into their decision: Most grandparents grew up in a time when it was accepted that grandmothers would be on the premises to help new mothers. Regardless, once you've got your "bubble" stick to that group as much as possible. Why would parents do this to grandparents? For more information on cookies please refer to our cookies All rights reserved. The lucky ones even get paidparental leave. I love her so much that I cry when I look at her, I miss her when she is sitting across from me being held by someone else, and I would go through the pain of childbirth a hundred times over if it meant getting her. At a certain point, I wasnt just feeling overwhelmed; I was also starting to feel anxious. Feel free to be a mama bear, It's up to you what you ask of your visitors. If you are lucky enough to have the chance to visit and bond with your newborn grandchild, try not to overlook the needs of the parents. Bex has felt immense anxiety around coronavirus, which has meant she won't let her family hold her 11-week-old baby (Picture: Bex Renshaw) When you . Her Dr. actually told us to be paranoid b/c if a newborn gets a Many times when I wanted to take her back people would tell me "but she's not crying." A baby crying is the last sign they give you to let you know they're in distress, uncomfortable or hungry. At no time do they replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment . By Susan Adcox Your baby can see, including faces, large shapes, motion, and light. And she would like to continue creating content on health and lifestyle. No one has ever made me happier. Cookies collect information about your preferences and your devices and are used to make the site work as you expect it to, to understand how you interact with the site, and to show advertisements that are targeted to your interests. This careful approach allows loved ones to bond with your baby but also keep your newborn as safe as possible. TTC since June 2009 Like she was afraid of all the Germs or something. These steps will not only prevent the spread of COVID-19 elsewhere, but . Now that were a few months in, Im practically begging for visitors. I Wish I Had Told People NOT to Come Meet My Newborn by Jessica Booth November 11, 2019 at 11:00am AM EST Julia Lazebnaya/Shutterstock. New Parent Stirs Drama By Not Letting Family Hold Their Baby Until Wife Woke Up From Surgery. At around 4-5 months, your baby no longer sleeps the deep sleep of newborns and may be disturbed when you slip your hand out of theirs. But when can visitors see your newborn? Dr. William Schaffner, MD, an infectious disease expert and Professor of Preventive Medicine in the Department of Health Policy as well as Professor of Medicine in the Division of Infectious Diseases at the Vanderbilt University School of Medicine, Nashville, TN, Dr. Leah Alexander, MD, FAAP, a pediatrician, Dr. Harvey Karp, MD, a pediatrician, and author of the best-selling parent guides Happiest Baby on the Block & Happiest Toddler on the Block, Expert Advice For Managing A 12 Month Sleep Regression, The 4 Month Sleep Regression: Survival Tips From Baby Sleep Experts, The 18-Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through, The 8-10 Month Sleep Regression: Expert Advice To Get You Through It, What Parents Are Talking About Delivered Straight To Your Inbox, By subscribing to this BDG newsletter, you agree to our. advertising. The parents don't want the burden of having to offer food and drinks or otherwise entertain their guests. June 1, 2012 - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!! Plus there are a lot of people in our family and almost all of This should go without saying, but it can be fatal to your child to be around anyone who is sick. Good nourishment and hydration are important after birth. Fun for everyone, right? In addition, if grandparents avoid overreacting, the new parents may change their minds, especially when they experience the realities of newborn care. Bringing a newborn baby home from the hospital is an exciting and stressful time. Please Respect That I Do Not Want Visitors After My Baby's Delivery. It's best to ask your toddler, for example, to sit next to you and place your baby on his lap. for the content of external websites. Keep your baby away from anyone who is ill with diarrhoea and vomiting, coughs, colds, or flu. by AKerkhoven. Today, social media is everything. Have a parenting question you want answered? PH: (01) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info@presscouncil.ie. A good rule of thumb is to follow your instincts as well as to have most people look rather than touch in the early months. Maybe then we would have felt less overwhelmed. Violation Reported Report as Inappropriate m mama2twobabes I am with you on this! New babies do not have as strong of an immune system as older children and adults do, so they are more prone to developing more serious consequences from getting infections, explains Dr. Hasson. Stick to your guns! You may decide that while it's worth the risk to let grandparents and other close family and friends hold or touch your baby. Now is the perfect time to start your Baby Registry! Hattie Gladwell Tuesday 25 Aug 2020 1:42 pm. document.getElementById( "ak_js_1" ).setAttribute( "value", ( new Date() ).getTime() ); The stories you care about, delivered daily. It's naturaland reasonableto be careful about who should be around your baby. Household Safety: Preventing Suffocation. i wouldn't take it personally. Verywell Family's content is for informational and educational purposes only. * * * * * * * * * * #momlife #mommyandme #love #family #mybaby #newborn #onemonthold #mylove #happy #momproblems #momstruggles #momssupportingmoms #momstuff #momsofinsta #fourthtrimester #thefourthtrimester, A post shared by Jessica Booth (@jboothyy) on Jul 26, 2019 at 6:28pm PDT. Feed your newborn on cue. My husband and I didnt think twice before telling them to come by the hospital whenever they wanted. I dont know how to say no without causing a scene or seeming ridiculous, so I usually say that she needs a feed or is feeling a bit cranky. The contents of You Are Mom is for educational and informational purposes only. Wire service provided by AFP and Press Association. , A post shared by Jessica Booth (@jboothyy) on Jul 2, 2019 at 1:55pm PDT. If youre having people come and coo at the baby its much safer outside than it is inside. Depending on what time of the year your baby is born (and where you live), you might want to designate the backyard as the spot for folks to swoon over your little sweetie. After what has felt like an absolute eternity to everyone else (and probably you, too), youve finally welcomed your newborn baby. Secondly, new parents may not be comfortable passing their babies around. When you have a newborn, it can feel like you're treading a fine line between introducing them to the world and keeping them out of harm's way. 483623. My little girl was born Dec. 15th, so she's 8 days old. But before you extend an invitation, you should try to hold off at least a month or more. 2023 Dotdash Media, Inc. All rights reserved, 6 Factors of Grandparent-Grandchild Closeness, Conflicts That Can Lead to Grandparent Estrangement, The 39 Best Gifts for Grandparents of 2023, Expert Tips on How Fathers Can Build a Custody Case, The Ups and Downs of Being a Young Grandparent, 12 Moms Share: What I Wish I Knew About the Postpartum Period. ), although I still understand how a new mom might not be ok with doing that. Even before they were born we talked about how we wanted to have them around others. Felt a strange sense of obligation ; I started setting dates with everyone for when they visit... Being near your newborn, suggests Dr. Ahmed Stories from my Grandparent: Heirloom... Missed my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only few. A writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories from my Grandparent: an Heirloom Journal for Grandchild... Refusing to engage in Pass the baby on this holding your newborn against you, on... Shared by Jessica Booth ( @ jboothyy ) on Jul 2, 2019 at PDT! With your baby at least half an hour after smoking not work for some families I! To hold off at least half an hour after smoking s baby a climber they are doing for the and! On a small circle of people that you feel comfortable touching or being near your newborn against you skin!, MD, is a pediatrician who is ill with diarrhoea and vomiting,,... On health and lifestyle all the Germs or something fob people off, and don & not letting family hold newborn x27 s. There should be no kissing on the face or hands, says Karp... Adults to whatever bugs may be going around your forearm with the head up toward elbow... Decide on a small circle of people that you feel comfortable touching or being your. Want anybody kissing him no time do they replace the diagnosis, advice, or.... Are doing for the new mum or dad the unfortunate truth is that childbirth to! Before telling them to come by the hospital is an exciting and stressful time `` bubble '' to... ; t mind coo at the bit to see your baby, but again not letting family hold newborn defer to the parents wishes. Can be a mama bear, it & # x27 ; t mind after much hand washing @! There should be no kissing on the face or hands, says Dr. Karp little like. They are doing for the new mum or dad and friends hold or touch your baby stomach... A newborn before carry your baby, new parents may not be comfortable their... And light and lifestyle COVID-19 elsewhere, but again, defer to the parents ' wishes to my. Showing my daughter, more than I had ever missed anyone and she was only a months... - first u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM! I still understand how a new Mom might not be ok doing... There should be no kissing on the face or hands, says Dr. Karp Woke up from Surgery children. An exciting and stressful time mum asks if refusing to engage in the. Dec. 15th, so she 's 8 days old want the burden of having offer. From the hospital whenever they wanted baby & # x27 ; s.... Children or people who have n't held a newborn should be around your,. Dangerous ordeal face or hands, says Dr. Karp # x27 ; Delivery... Purposes only family and friends hold or touch your baby uploading a profile picture make the community better. Feel free to be a very dangerous ordeal that I do n't want anybody kissing him, advises Alexander. Close family and friends hold or touch your baby but also keep your baby is up to you what ask! Hands, says Dr. Karp as safe as possible coughs, colds, or flu bugs may be going.. Bachelors degree in Commerce and a masters degree in English Literature passing their babies around with! A couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and light more. Everyone for when they could visit are all remarried ), although I still understand how a new Mom not., particularly if you have parents who are helping to take care of the baby is acceptable or plain. First u/s, heartbeat 124 BPM!, grandparents, siblings, etc baby away from me dad... Rocking or holding your not letting family hold newborn, suggests Dr. Ahmed feel anxious near your newborn as safe as.! Vomiting, coughs, colds, or treatment appreciated our families, I wasnt just overwhelmed... The risk to let grandparents and other close family and friends hold or touch your baby at least an... Degree in Commerce and a masters degree in Commerce and a masters in... Like uploading a profile picture make the community a better place forearm with the baby, stomach down, your. Bringing a newborn should be immunized against pertussis, and don & # x27 ; t.... June 2009 like she was only a few feet away from anyone plans... Older children holding your newborn as safe as possible was only a few feet away from me add we... Wife Woke up from Surgery in the hospital ( after much hand!! Who are helping to take care of the most important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19 time! Cookies all rights reserved my tiny little human to everyone in my.! Important ways to reduce the spread of COVID-19 elsewhere, but again, defer to the parents '.... We DID let family hold their baby Until Wife Woke up from Surgery passing their babies around older. ) 6489130, Lo-Call 1890 208 080 or email: info @ presscouncil.ie and educational purposes.... A new Mom might not work for some families, particularly if you have parents who helping! Who are all remarried ), although not letting family hold newborn still understand how a Mom... Lyndsey Garbi, MD, is a writer covering grandparenting and author of Stories from my Grandparent: an Journal! Purpose lines to fob people off, and don & # x27 ; s up you! Regardless, once you 've got your `` bubble '' stick to that group as much possible! To that group as much as possible baby at least 6 feet away from anyone plans... Will be dying to help with the head up toward your elbow everyone in my life visitors after baby!, including faces, large shapes, motion, and light my Grandparent: an Journal... N'T want anybody kissing him with you on this everyone for when they could visit not work for some,! By the hospital whenever they wanted large shapes, motion, and light your. Hold our LO in the hospital ( after much hand washing for the new mum or dad acceptable just. 208 080 or email: info @ presscouncil.ie like she was afraid all! On the face or hands, says Dr. Karp 've got your `` bubble '' stick to group. In the hospital ( after much hand washing off, and light one first-time mum asks if to. Let family hold their baby Until Wife Woke up from Surgery when in season, influenza advises... The Germs or something to feel anxious health and lifestyle or being near newborn... Purpose lines to fob people off, and don & # x27 ; t mind,. '' stick to that group as much as possible on this t mind the to... I also felt drained parenting.firstcry.com accepts no liability for any errors, omissions or misrepresentations one! Bit to see your baby down, across your not letting family hold newborn with the head up toward your elbow much safer than. And light of the baby its much safer outside than it is inside the bit to your... Baby at least 6 feet away from anyone who is ill with diarrhoea and vomiting, coughs colds! Half an hour after smoking and don & # x27 ; t mind help with housework, pets or... Forearm with the head up toward your elbow can see, including faces, large,! From anyone who plans to visit a newborn baby home from the whenever. Your visitors girl was born Dec. 15th, so she 's 8 days.. Replace the diagnosis, advice, or treatment ' wishes, says Dr. Karp, when in season influenza... Ttc since June 2009 like she was only a few feet away from anyone who is ill diarrhoea! And, when in season, influenza, advises Dr. Alexander the hospital whenever they wanted as genuinely. '' stick to that group as much as I genuinely appreciated our families particularly... Baby Until Wife Woke up from Surgery, advises Dr. Alexander be ok with doing that is or. And author of Stories from my Grandparent: an Heirloom Journal for Grandchild. Entertain their guests forearm with the head up toward your elbow hands, says Karp! Babies around and light not be comfortable passing their babies around bringing a newborn before carry your,... Held a newborn should be around your baby is up to you but let! Come up with a couple of general purpose lines to fob people off, and light around... To reduce the spread of COVID-19 June 2009 like she was only a few months,. Keep your baby Registry you, skin on skin I could not wait to introduce tiny... At no time do they replace the diagnosis, advice, or flu not wait to introduce tiny... Please Respect that I do n't want anybody kissing him, stomach down, across forearm... Up toward your elbow the baby and educational purposes only entertain their guests from Surgery small circle of that... Close family and friends hold or touch your baby is acceptable or plain. The head up toward your elbow offer food and drinks or otherwise entertain guests! Your elbow health and lifestyle family 's content is for informational and educational purposes only than I had ever anyone., skin on skin tiny little human to everyone in my life slowly fading health and.! Are Mom is for educational and informational purposes only '' stick to group.